Is it Covidiquette or Pandemiquette? Whatever we call it, we are struggling to figure out the new rules of etiquette and manners so that we remain courteous and polite during these trying times. In a recent article, I wrote about “Covid Cranky,” a condition that, like it or not, has infected every one of us.
I stepped up and confessed that I have suffered from “Covid Cranky”. In the last two years, I have said and done things that seem completely out of character and certainly not worthy of someone who professes to be an “expert” on manners and etiquette.
When I have noticed this behavior in others, I have assumed these people were cranky and rude by nature and acted that way pre-Covid. However, through my own informal research into this phenomenon, I have discovered that this is not limited to those born cranky. Friends and colleagues, who are generally kind and courteous, have confessed to these uncharacteristic behaviors as well. They have found themselves being rude to people online and using the anonymity of the Internet to say things they would previously have kept to themselves. They have lashed out at people over the phone and even abruptly hung up on a few.
What is it about the pandemic that has made us act in such uncivilized ways?
- Have we been cooped up so long that we have forgotten how to act in the real world?
- Do our masks give us license to act anonymously?
- Are we tired of being told what we can and cannot do?
- Is rarely being able to talk to a live person causing frustration?
- Do we long to see smiling faces?
- Is our patience wearing thin trying to keep up with the ever-changing rules?
It may be some or all the above plus more. You could add to this list, I am sure.
So, what can we do? As always, we cannot control the behavior of others. When we encounter rude or difficult people, we can:
- Try not to mimic their conduct.
- Honor the preferences of others and not be judgmental about their choices.
- Step back and consider what might be going on in their lives to spark this behavior.
- Protect ourselves when we feel threatened but do so graciously.
- Consider the effect of our actions or words on others.
- Ask ourselves if we are treating others as we would like to be treated.
It is not hard to be nice. It takes less energy than being combative. So, before you turn on your computer, pick up the phone or go out into the world, put down your sword and shield. Instead, put a smile on your masked face and generosity in your spirit. I promise to do the same.
To even suggest that these are difficult times is a classic understatement. We all know and feel the challenges and pain of Covid-19. In one way or another, each of us has been affected. We are all mourning and searching for ways of expressing condolences. We have lost family members, close friends, colleagues, coworkers or acquaintances. If we have not personally suffered the pain of loss, we know someone who has.
We are now almost three months into the Coronavirus, at least from the standpoint of sheltering at home and enduring quarantine. It was on or about March 13th that we first learned we had to avoid contact with other human beings as much as possible. It’s been a long three months. If you’re on vacation three months pass quickly. When you are stuck in isolation, it’s painfully long.
The handshake, as we know it now, is in danger of becoming extinct, much to the delight of some and to the chagrin of others. During this crisis in addition to practicing social distance, washing our hands constantly, not touching our face, we have been advised not to shake hands. Eventually, we will be able to gather with others socially and professionally. When we do, we may remember to wash our hands frequently. We may think twice before touching our face. But what will become of the handshake? If Dr. Fauci of the Corona Taskforce has his way, the handshake will be history. I have the utmost respect for Dr. Fauci.