Category Archives: Newzltr

The Holiday Card – A Victim of Procrastination

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Do you tend to leave things until the last minute? Sadly, most of us do. There is always more time, right? One of the victims of procrastination is the holiday card. It is almost September, and I am already talking about the holidays. It’s not too early, believe me.

In your business and your personal life, if you wait too long to start the process—like after Thanksgiving—sending your cards may become more of a chore than a pleasure. If you delay, your clients and colleagues may already have left the office for the holidays and your friends may be too swamped at that point to notice your thoughtfulness.

Here are some tips to ease the chore and to make your best impression:

  1. Purchase a quality card. It is not necessary to spend a fortune, but good quality says you value your clients, colleagues and friends enough to “send the very best.”
  2. Order your cards while there is time to have your name or the company printed on them. You want them to have a professional look.
  3. Send your greetings early. Have them in the mail the first week in December if you want them to be noticed and appreciated.
  4. Plan to sign your name and write a brief message. The holiday card that comes without a personal signature and a note seems more obligatory than celebratory. It does not matter that your name is already printed on the card. Give it that handwritten touch.
  5. Address the envelopes by hand. While it is easier and faster to print address labels, you lose the personal touch.  Consider hiring someone to do this if you do not have the time to do it yourself.
  6. Use titles when addressing your cards. The envelope should be addressed to “Mr. John Smith” not “John Smith” or “Ms. Mary Brown” not “Mary Brown.” By the way, “Ms.” is the correct title to use in business.
  7. Invest in holiday stamps and avoid the postage meter.  That is just one more personal touch—and a festive one at that.
  8. Email greeting cards may be tempting because they require less time and trouble. It is not totally in bad taste these days to e-mail your holiday wishes, but it is impersonal and not the most impressive way to do it.  Your clever electronic message with singing Santas and dancing trees is a fleeting greeting.  The recipient will click on the URL, download the card, open it, read it, smile, close it, and, in all probability, hit “delete”. Chances are good that your physical card will have a longer lifespan.  Most people save greeting cards throughout the holiday season, and many display them around their office or home.
  9. One final tip: Address your envelopes as soon as you receive your cards. Once you get that step out of the way, you can sit back and relax while you write your personal message on each greeting card.

Handling Awkward Situations

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Earlier this summer I was contacted by a reporter with the Chicago Tribune who was writing a column called “Social Graces”. She asked me to respond to the following question:

How do you address a friend who always embarrasses you in social circles by bringing up things you did in the past?

I loved this question because I have first-hand experience with handling awkward situations, particularly this one. A close friend has done it to me for years. My usual response is to smile and try to laugh off whatever embarrassing moment she wants to pass on. For the most part, the things she chooses to reveal are what she perceives to be humorous. Kept between the two of us, they might be funny.

How do I address these awkward moments? I find that laughing them off is best. There is no need to call out my friend in front of everyone else. Laughing at her stories puts me in the position of laughing at myself. Self-deprecating humor is well-received by others. There is no reason to make an uncomfortable situation any more awkward.

After listening to my friend tell the same story on several different occasions, I have taken her aside and asked her to stop repeating my embarrassing moments. I have told her that I am not happy with having her make fun of me.

In these awkward situations, it is important to let the other person know how bringing up past events, that are not always complimentary, makes you feel. People often fail to consider the feelings of others. Asking the question, “Do you realize how this makes me feel?” is the best approach. “Feel” being the keyword.

Another tact, when you see this coming, is to stop the person immediately and say, “Do you mind not telling that story again? I think everyone has already heard it.”

The less attention you draw to the situation the better.

In summary,

  • Try to brush off or laugh at what your friend is saying.
  • Refocus or change the subject as quickly and smoothly as possible.
  • Take your friend aside and let her know how she makes you feel and ask that she think before she does it again.

Replying to Invitations Post-Pandemic

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What’s the one thing you have missed most during the pandemic? When asked, many will reply that it’s people. Even the extreme introverts give this answer. Human beings need connection and social interaction. Some need it more than others.

During the pandemic, technology has allowed us to communicate via Zoom, texting, and other online platforms. However, there is nothing that quite compares with being in the same time and space as our friends and family. We miss them all, even grumpy old Uncle Fred or bossy Aunt Mary.

Now that some of the rules of masking and social distancing are beginning to relax post-pandemic, how do you feel about venturing out into social situations? More people than you might think are somewhat reluctant to return to socializing as they once knew it. Many fear that they have lost their social skills and are afraid they won’t be comfortable mixing and mingling again.

Are you someone who is excited to see an invitation come your way; yet when it comes time to head out, you lose your nerve? Maybe you rejected the invitation to begin with. Perhaps you accepted and now need a graceful way to back out? Once again, let me assure you that you are not alone. It’s oddly part of that “new normal” we talk about.

Having established that these feelings are commonplace, how do you handle replying to invitations, specifically turning down invitations without offending someone and risk being forever blacklisted?

Try a bit of old-fashioned honesty. Most people will understand when you confess that you aren’t quite ready to go out. You can explain that despite being fully vaccinated, you are somewhat reluctant to be in groups or crowds. If you aren’t comfortable exposing your fears, you can simply say that, unfortunately, you have a conflict. There’s no need to explain further.

Keep it simple. You only need one reason to turn down an invitation. You never want to pile on a dozen excuses for staying away. Even if all twelve are legitimate, it sounds phony.

Be appreciative. No matter how you choose to respond, thank your would-be host and ask if you can have the proverbial rain check. Stress that you are grateful to have been thought of and that you value the invitation. Suggest that you get together sometime soon.

Go easy on yourself. Take your time with your re-entry. Try accepting a few invitations, perhaps those for small events. Above all, keep in mind that while you may feel alone, you are in good company. This is normal post-lockdown apprehension. When you are ready, the world will be waiting and will welcome you with open arms.