Tag Archives: etiquette tips

The State of the Email Salutation

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It’s possible that you are not aware of a raging debate online and in print regarding the proper email salutation. The controversy is not quite on the same level as the political debates, thank goodness;  but like those hurricanes some of us dread all summer long, it is growing in intensity and covering an ever-widening area.

A while ago I was contacted by the Wall Street Journal for an article titled “Hey, Folks: Here’s a Digital Requiem for a Dearly Departed Salutation”. That was followed by a call from a reporter at Forbes.com seeking my opinion on the use of “hi” vs. “dear” as an email salutation or greeting.  From the comments and responses in those articles, this topic stirred up quite a controversy. And it continues.

Opinions on the proper email salutation:

Those who were either interviewed or quoted in were adamant about their stance.  Some felt the word “dear” was old-fashioned and out-of-date.  One person said it was too “girlie” while another stated that it was extremely intimate. Yet another replied that using any salutation at all takes too much time to type. I’m no speed typist, but really? How long does it take to type two letters?

Opinions were all over the map. Many people who preferred “hello” over “hi.”  “Hey” did not seem to get any votes.  Maybe all those interviewed had a mother like mine who drilled into me that “hey” was not an appropriate greeting in any situation. “Hay is for horses” was her response to anyone saying “hey”.  As a Southerner, I have to admit that I use the word frequently as a verbal greeting with friends.  It’s as common as grits here in the Georgia.

My stance on the email salutation:

  1. One size does not fit all. Use the email salutation appropriate to the situation and the person to whom you are addressing your email. Context and familiarity dictate the salutation.
  2. Use “dear” in your initial correspondence with someone whom you have never met and with whom you are trying to establish a professional relationship. When in doubt, “dear” is always safe and should be the default greeting for any first communication
  3. Use “hi” or “hello” once you have established a comfortable relationship. “Hi” is viewed as relaxing and welcoming.
  4. Follow the lead of your client or customer. If the other person always uses “dear”, then so do you. If they begin their correspondence with you by saying “hi,” follow suit. As in all business situations, mimic your client.
  5. Use a salutation of some form. There is always enough time to be courteous. Launching your conversation without a greeting is the same online as it is in person. It’s abrupt.
  6. Along with your chose email salutation include the person’s name. However, never use anyone’s first name in business until and unless they give you permission. When people sign their email reply to you using their first name, that is a signal that you no longer need to use “Mr.” or Ms.”
  7. With friends you may be as informal as you like. If you frequently exchange email with certain friends and colleagues, there is no need to be formal. Nevertheless, I am a fan of a greeting of some sort even if it is simply starting off with your friend’s or co-worker’s first name.

Still confused? Let me summarize:

  • Although “Dear” is viewed as outmoded by some, it is a failsafe fall-back.
  • “Hello” followed by the person’s name, is also acceptable.
  • “Hi”, plus the name, has been on the rise for some time, and is considered standard in many situations.

At this point, I leave the email salutation to your good judgment. I feel confident that “dear” is not dead.  But I believe that we are going to see a lot more “hi” in our in-boxes.

Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah-based business etiquette expert, keynote speaker and trainer. She is the author of Manners That Sell – Adding the Polish That Builds Profits and Lydia Ramsey’s Little Book of Table Manners. Contact her at 912-604-0080 or visit her website: LydiaRamsey.com to find out how her presentations and workshops can help you and your employees add the polish that builds profits.

Ten Tips for Surviving the Holiday Office Party

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It’s inevitable—the annual holiday office party. You can pretty much count on it every year. This year approximately 75% of bosses are planning to treat their employees to what they deem to be a festive celebration.

For some, this is a much anticipated and eagerly awaited event. For others, not so much. They would rather face a root canal than have to mix and mingle with the gang from the office.

While the holiday office party is not guaranteed to be your opportunity to gain points with the boss and leverage your next promotion, it can decidedly be the event that tanks your career. Read on for tips that will help you stay out of the danger zone and on the safe side.

  1. Show up. Attendance is not optional. It is a requirement of the job. If you can’t attend, you need to have a pretty darn good excuse.
  2. RSVP. If the invitation says “RSVP”, a reply is necessary whether positive or negative. Your boss needs to know how many to plan for.
  3. Say what you will do and do what you say. If you reply that you will attend, do so. If you say that you cannot attend, don’t show up unannounced.
  4. Don’t arrive with unexpected guests. Only those who are named on the invitation should make an appearance. If your babysitter cancels at the last minute, don’t take the kids.
  5. Arrive on time. This is your best chance to be noticed by the boss and to interact with others in attendance.
  6. Engage your boss in conversation. This needs only be a light exchange. It is definitely not the time to talk business. A hint: to start the conversation, find something to compliment the boss on–perhaps an accessory such as his clever holiday tie or her attractive necklace or gorgeous scarf.
  7. Don’t hog the buffet table. The food may be delicious, but you are not there for the food. If you have a bite to eat before you go, you are less likely to find yourself overdoing it at the buffet table.
  8. Mix and mingle with your coworkers and colleagues. This is your opportunity to do some team building so go for it even if some of those people are not your close friends.
  9. Go with some conversation starters in mind. If you are not comfortable talking to people whom you don’t know well, have some ideas of topics you can talk about. But remember that all you really have to do is ask people about themselves and they will take that ball and run with it.
  10. As always, watch the alcohol. Have one or two drinks at the most. If you crave another, have it when you get home.

Drive safe; stay safe, have fun and watch your P’s and Q’s. You want to wake up the day after the holiday party with no regrets and know that you were your most professional polished self.

Happy Holidays!

Lydia

P.S. It is not too late to grab your copy of my e-book on holiday business tips for surviving the season.

P.S. Neither is it too late to order your copy of Manners That Sell – Adding the Polish That Builds Profits. It’s the perfect gift for yourself or anyone you know who wants to get ahead in the business world.

lydia_sm-e1393277822156Lydia Ramsey is business etiquette and modern manners expert, keynote speaker, seminar leader and author of Manners That Sell-Adding the Polish That Builds Profits. Based in Savannah, Georgia, she travels across the US and as far away as India and Dubai to work with clients that include universities, corporations, small businesses, associations and non-profit organizations. Her topics range from flip-flops to forks. Visit her website www.lydiaramsey.com for more information about her services and resources.

Five Workplace Sins

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?????????????There are any number of etiquette faux pas committed in the office setting.  Check to see if you are guilty of  these five workplace sins.

  1. Being a “Sunday night e-mailer.” Many business people like to clear out their inbox from home on Sunday night. That eliminates spending an hour replying to email first thing Monday morning. However, when you clean out your inbox on Sunday night, you dump a load of email on your colleagues’ or clients’ desk.  Now they have to deal with your replies or forwards  when they arrive at the office Monday morning. Solution: If you are a “Sunday night e-mailer,” be considerate. Save those messages somewhere in your email program, and release them mid morning on Monday.
  2. Hovering over your colleagues while they are on the phone. You want to have a word with a co-worker so you go to his office or cubicle only to see him on the phone. Don’t stand there waiting. This is distracting and inconsiderate. Solution: Just catch the person’s eye, signal that you’d like to talk with him or her, then go back to your desk and wait until your colleague either calls, emails you or comes to your office.
  3. Failing to remove your leftovers from the office kitchen. You brought your lunch to the office, but then had an invitation to eat out. Your lunch sits in the refrigerator until it turns blue.  Solution: Either decide that you will have that lunch the following day, take it home for dinner or toss it out. No one else should have to clean out your yucky leftovers.
  4. Using speaker phone while in your cubicle or in your office with the door open. Other people in the office should not be subjected to your phone conversations.  It is inconsiderate of those around you as well as the person on the other end of the line. Solution: If you have to use the speaker phone function for a call, go to a private location or shut your door.
  5. Taking your cell/smart phone into a meeting and placing it on the table. Mobile phones should be turned off and out of sight during meetings. Once you place yours on the table, you send a message that you are only partially present.  Everyone knows that your eye is on the phone should something be deemed as more important comes along. This is an insult to others present. It devalues everyone around you.  Solution: If you are expecting a call that is so important that you can’t be unattached from your phone, rethink whether you should attend the meeting.  Next choice, apologize and explain why your phone has to be in plain view. There are few phone calls that can’t wait until your meeting is over.

If you find that you are guilty of any of these workplace sins, follow the solutions I have offered.

Additional  tips on office etiquette and workplace manners can be found in my book, Manners That Sell – Adding the Polish That Builds Profits (Pelican Publishing).

Photo from Savannah magazine

Photo from Savannah magazine

Hire Lydia to work with your staff to improve customer service and employee relations through the use of those priceless and often over-looked soft skills called manners. Lydia is the “unstuffy” business etiquette expert who helps individuals and organizations add the polish that builds profits. We’re talking about your bottom line here.

Since 1996, countless people have benefited from her wisdom through keynotes, seminars and conference breakout sessions.  Her Southern charm and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker and consultant.

Based in Savannah, Georgia, Lydia is available for national, regional and local speaking and training engagements. She has suitcase; will travel.

Contact her via email at lydia@lydiaramsey.com or call 912-604-0080. Sign up for her free monthly newsletter and visit her website, lydiaramsey.com.

Etiquette Tips for Physicians and Medical Staff

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The best team in the hospitalDeclining reimbursements, increased overhead, implementation of the Affordable Care Act, the rush to litigation are but a few of the reasons to “sweat the small stuff” in the medical arena. If you don’t think you need to pay attention to the details when it comes to making your patients happy as well as healthy, think again. If ever there was a time to mind your medical manners, it’s now.

Patient satisfaction is becoming the key phrase in healthcare. That is not to say that patient outcomes are no longer important. However, it is now obvious that there is a direct correlation between how patients are treated personally and how they are treated clinically.

Using good manners and following the rules of proper etiquette can make an incredible difference in how physicians and their staff are viewed by their patients. If patients feel valued by their physicians and have positive interactions with the staff, they are most likely to become longtime loyal customers. Yes, patients are customers, too.

Let me suggest twelve simple etiquette tips for physicians and medical staff that can have a positive effect on patient relations and outcomes:

  1. Stop, look and listen. This rule does not simply apply to the train rumbling down the tracks. It has great value in a physician’s office. While doctors can rarely spare as much time with patients as they once did, the people they treat need not wonder if their doctor is wearing a stop watch or has set an alarm on his smart phone or on his new Apple watch. Slow down. In some instances, stop.
  2. Make eye contact with patients while talking with them. Focus on the patient and not on the computer screen. If your computer is placed in such a way that you must turn away from the patient, get a laptop or reconfigure the computer’s placement.
  3. When you ask the critical questions, pay attention to the answers. Use good listening skills such as nodding at the person, repeating what you have heard and paraphrasing what was said. Avoid the urge to interrupt or finish the patient’s sentence. You could miss valuable information
  4. Practice professional meeting and greeting. Make your introduction warm and friendly.
  5. Smile when you make eye contact . This helps put people at ease and makes them feel welcome and valued.
  6. Use the patient’s name as soon as you can while adhering to patient privacy laws. Address people by their title and last name until you receive permission to call them by their first name.
  7. Introduce yourself even if you are wearing a name badge, which you should be.   Don’t forget to give your title or position so patients will know if they are speaking to a nurse, a technician or a housekeeper.
  8. Let the patient know what is going to happen next. For example, “I am going to get your vital signs now. Then you may have a seat in the waiting area until the doctor is ready to see you.” That is something that is done in my own doctor’s office. The usual custom is to tell the patient that you will be leaving the room and that the doctor will be in shortly.
  9. Someone should keep track of how long the patient has been waiting in the exam room and check back from time to time. Even a prolonged wait will pass more quickly if the patient sees other humans from time to time.
  10. Dress like a professional. Most physicians offer a professional appearance if for no other reason than that they wear a white coat to hide their sins. The office staff is another issue. Some employees wear whatever they choose. Others are required to dress in uniforms. The result is that there is a wide variety in office attire—some of it neat and professional and the other not so much
  11. Dress policies should be put in place and enforced by the officer manager. Lack of attention to office attire can give patients a poor impression and even lead to doubt as to the level of care they will receive.
  12. Keep office differences under wraps. Not everyone in the office is best friends with or even likes their co-workers. This should not be the patient’s problem. If employees cannot resolve the trouble between themselves, they need to take up their problem with the office manager, not gossip to others in the office and definitely not make their issues public.

Invest time and money in training physicians and medical staff in the importance of soft skills. While interpersonal skills may not seem as critical as clinical skills in a physician’s practice, without them there soon may be no patients to treat. People have choices in where they go for their medical care; you want that to be your office.

Photo from Savannah magazine

Photo from Savannah magazine

Hire Lydia to work with your staff to improve customer service and employee relations through the use of those priceless and often over-looked soft skills called manners. Lydia is the “unstuffy” business etiquette expert who helps individuals and organizations add the polish that builds profits. We’re talking about your bottom line here.

Since 1996, countless people have benefited from her wisdom through keynotes, seminars and conference breakout sessions.  Her Southern charm and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker and consultant.

Based in Savannah, Georgia, Lydia is available for national, regional and local speaking and training engagements. She has suitcase; will travel.

Contact her via email at lydia@lydiaramsey.com or call 912-604-0080. Sign up for her free monthly newsletter and visit her website, lydiaramsey.com.

Business Attire for Men When Temperatures Sizzles

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Last week I wrote about how women should dress for work during the hot summer months.  At the risk of repeating myself, I pointed out out that women have more choices and  challenges than men when it it comes to deciding how to dress professionally when temperatures soar. When it comes to business attire for men and business casual, it is pretty straight forward. There are fewer choices.

In a strictly formal business environment, there is little choice. Bankers, brokers and financial advisers need to present themselves in a trustworthy and serious manner.  Having said that, it leaves no room for deviation.  The person who deals with other people’s finances needs to look the part by dressing in a business suit and tie. No matter what the thermometer reads, his attire should remain consistent. Behind the closed door of his office, he can remove his coat and loosen the tie, but when he steps out or a client comes in, it’s back to coat and tie.

If the office environment is informal or casual, here are my suggestions and cautions.

  1. The operative word in business casual is “business.”  If  man wants to be comfortable and yet maintain a  professional look, his best choice is to wear a full or long-sleeve dress shirt, tucked in of course, with a quality pant and matching belt and shoes.  His shoes can be a relaxed loafer or slip on shoe, well-polished and maintained. A tie kept nearby will allow him to dress up a notch if the need arises.
  2. If the work environment is less formal, short sleeve  shirts may be acceptable but do not say “business” the way long sleeves do.

No matter what the temperature or how casual the setting, the following are all no-no’s:

  1. Sandals and athletic shoes
  2. Collarless shirts
  3. Tee shirts with pictures or sayings on them
  4. Jeans of any kind
  5. Any clothing that is wrinkled or stained

It should go without saying that men who work outdoors have more license to dress down. Even they need to start the business day, neat and clean.

Business goes on as usual regardless of the temperature.  Keep in mind that your business attire is intended to show respect for your clients. It is all about the client, not about you.

professional speaker

Photo from Savannah magazine

Hire Lydia to work with your staff to improve customer service and employee relations through the use of those priceless and often over-looked soft skills called manners. Lydia is the “unstuffy” business etiquette expert who helps individuals and organizations add the polish that builds profits. We’re talking about your bottom line here.

Since 1996, countless people have benefited from her wisdom through keynotes, seminars and conference breakout sessions.  Her Southern charm and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker and consultant.

Based in Savannah, Georgia, Lydia is available for national, regional and local speaking and training engagements. She has suitcase; will travel.

Contact her via email at lydia@lydiaramsey.com or call 912-604-0080. Sign up for her free monthly newsletter and visit her website, lydiaramsey.com.

The Business Woman’s Wardrobe When It Sizzles

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What to wear to work is challenging enough during the year, but when temperatures rise, it is even more confusing, especially for the business woman. In last week’s blog, I talked in general terms of how to approach your workplace wardrobe in the summer.  This week I want to focus on the business woman’s wardrobe. The business woman faces more options than her male counterpart, and therefore has more room for error.

If a woman works in a strictly formal office, there is not much seasonal variation.  However I can offer a few tips for staying cool  and conservative.

  1. Choose suits of lighter colors and materials.  There are lots of cottons and cotton blends available.  Linen is cool, but not a good choice for the office since it wrinkles if you even look at it.
  2. Wear sling-back heels rather than the traditional pump.  Sandals and open-toed shoes are never acceptable in a formal office.
  3. Skirts that come to the knee are cooler than pants, but require stockings. I know that’s not good news for many women, but it is the professional look and stockings are now being made in lighter weights.

If the office environment is informal or casual, here are my suggestions and cautions.

  1. Wear short sleeves or cap sleeves.  Resist the urge to bare your skin and stay away from sleeveless.
  2. Skirts that are more than an inch above the knee are not acceptable. Go for the knee but you can forgo the stockings.
  3. Cropped pants of good quality and preferably with a cuff will work, especially when paired with a short-sleeve jacket.
  4. Dresses are comfortable summer attire.  However, sleeveless dresses and sundresses are not appropriate for the office.
  5. Lightweight or loose-weave sweaters are always good to wear over sleeveless.
  6. Sandals are controversial.  It really depends on how casual your workplace is. Just keep in mind that when you wear an open-toe shoe, your feet need to look well-cared for.
  7. If you are considering flip-flops, don’t . They are a definite  no-no.

A final suggestion for the business woman’s wardrobe:  Consider loose-fitting, but not baggy, clothes for relief from the heat. 

In general, stay away from sheer, sloppy or revealing. Remember that you are still in the office and not at the beach.

Here’s to summer survival!

professional speaker

Photo from Savannah magazine

Hire Lydia to work with your staff to improve customer service and employee relations through the use of those priceless and often over-looked soft skills called manners. Lydia is the “unstuffy” business etiquette expert who helps individuals and organizations add the polish that builds profits. We’re talking about your bottom line here.

Since 1996, countless people have benefited from her wisdom through keynotes, seminars and conference breakout sessions.  Her Southern charm and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker and consultant.

Based in Savannah, Georgia, Lydia is available for national, regional and local speaking and training engagements. She has suitcase; will travel.

Contact her via email at lydia@lydiaramsey.com or call 912-604-0080. Sign up for her free monthly newsletter and visit her website, lydiaramsey.com.